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5/11/2004

least favourite things are more interesting. 

Sometimes I'm a little bit negative. I don't like a lot of things. Here is a comprehensive list of some of the things that I very much dislike.

1. Being broke. Money is just the greatest thing to have. Sub-categories of this include:

a)The price of gas.
b)The price of food. (only an issue while at school.)
c)The price of all the clothes I like.
d)The price of c.d.'s.

Pretty much if it costs something, I have a beef with it. Moving on.

2. Small talk. Here's an example of some small talk I had to endure this afternoon, including *my internal dialogue*:

"Looks like summer's here to stay."
"Yes... it certainly is nice out.*Please stop talking. I have places to be.*"
"How was your year?"
"Oh...Good.*How am I supposed to sum up an entire year? You aggravate me.*"
"Good."

My friend Christopher once tried to teach me how to speak small talk, after he witnessed me suffer through the most awkward, terrible bout of small talk he said he had ever seen. He told me that the key is to never stop walking. A head turn is acceptable, but the conversation should never involve walking backwards. You don't really need to get any information from them anyway, so an empty "How's it goin'?" is good enough.

3. When people state the obvious. I especially hate it when someone tells me that I have a sunburn. If I've got one, I know it. Leave me alone.

4. When people yell things at you from inside of their cars. It doesn't happen so much in Montreal, but it happens ALL THE TIME in Peterborough. Just last night, for example:

EXT. CORNER OF GEORGE AND SIMCOE, DOWNTOWN PTBO. -- NIGHT

A creepy black rapist van pulls up to the stoplight.

DUDES IN VAN:
Marijuana? (Moronic laughter.)

ALLIE
I want to go home.

5. I also hate a lot of smaller things not really worthy of a complete section of their own. Here is a list of some of them.

a) Bad spelling and grammar.
b) Sleeping in a messy room.
c) Hairdressers.
d) Hot-tubs with the bubbles turned off.
e) DVD secret extra features that only jerks and weiners can find.
f) Cat hair.
g) Dirty feet. Dirty fingernails, for that matter.
h) Riding bikes purely for the sake of exercise.

6. My absolute least favourite thing is when people tell me that I am negative. It drives me insane. I'm really not THAT negative. I'm never content with everything in my life, or anywhere that I'm living, but who cares. I'll be content when I'm old. Or bitter. Could go either way, really.

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