digital downpour

That's right, the Fringe is back once again for 10 crazy days of about 80 even crazier plays. From the 10th to the 20th of June, the festival is taking over nine venues on and around the Main so for all you fringe-virgins out there or for those of you who were just too drunk last year to remember how it's done, here is a comprehensive guide to living on the fringe.

Step 1. Go to the opening night bash. That would be tonight. It's in the Beer Tent, a.k.a. your new best friend, at the corner of Rachel and St-Laurent. It's a great way to make friends, get drunk and make a fool of yourself right off the bat so as to set the tone for the next ten days. So go.

Step 2. Volunteer. Once you've recovered from opening night, head down to fringe headquarters and sign up as a volunteer. They'll probably remember you as the kid who ran up on stage, yelled something about koala bears and then barfed up all their beer at the party last night, so obviously they'll think you're a perfect addition to their unpayed staff. Volunteering is great fun because for every hour of 'work', you get a fringe buck and four fringe bucks will get you into a play. Yippee!

Step 3. See some plays, dammit. Plays are what the fringe is all about. Well, plays and beer. So go see a couple. The fringe works on a lottery system so that means pretty much anybody can have a play. While this is nice and democratic and all, it means that some of the plays really stink. But there are also some really great plays that don't stink at all and those are the ones you should go see.

Step 4. Sleep is for suckers. One of the best fringe volunteer shifts is 'The Overnight'. That means that from midnight to nine am you and five of your friends camp out on St-Laurent and guard the beer tent. Don't worry, it's safe. And the fringe people will give you money for pizza and lend you a tv so you can stay up all night watching T2 or something silly. You also get double fringe bucks for doing the overnight which is super. The only thing is you can't drink the beer since you're supposed to be guarding it, but you can always bring your own.

Step 5. Go to the volunteer party. The volunteer party is fun because you can continue that drinking binge you've by now grown accustomed to even once the fringe has officialy ended and you also get to bid on things with any leftover fringe bucks you may have at the volunteer auction.

So, now that you're all set, get out there and get fringing! And remember, you can't say no to cheap beer. That's just plain rude.