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11/26/2004

rampage 

i realize that more than one post in one day is unheard of. but i found this thing that i thought was funny and couldn't wait to tell the internet about it. it's called TV-B-Gone and i am pretty sure it's for real. You can turn off any TV, at anytime, anywhere.

spitting on the coat of many colours. 

According to the Irish press, Dolly Parton has been caught up in a "lip synching scandal". I know, right? It is like the world is falling to pieces and there is nothing you or I can do to stop it.

I'm going to put 'Jolene' on repeat for the next few days and try not to leave the house in case an anvil should fall on my head. And why shouldn't it? Everything else bad has happened.

11/18/2004

the digitaldownpour guide to remembering that not everything is bad. 

Y'all are hatin'. Admit it. You don't love anything anymore. Your Mom told you you weren't allowed to paint your room black and you've been fuming for months. Well guess what? You are lying to yourself and it's making everyone depressed. Stop it. The following is a guide to things you can't possibly hate.

1. Old couples. Old couples holding hands, old couples laughing, old couples helping eachother remember things...

2.And on the other end of the chronological spectrum, little kids are pretty effing cool too. Today Mira and I were looking at the Ogilvy's Christmas display downtown, and this little kid came up beside me and was all "Hey, look at the Christmas guys Mom!" But he was just looking at these frogs that didn't look like Christmas frogs at all. Then his mom was like "Yup, that's what we came to see." and he was like "Oooooh," like he was coming to some brilliant conclusion. Which I think he was.

3. Last week some chocolate bar company was handing out free chocolate bars. If you say you hate free chocolate, that's like saying you hate freedom. And you're a dirty liar.

4. When it's raining and you don't have an umbrella on you, and your friend shares their umbrella with you, it means you guys are BFF. Or at least FF. Both of your arms and half of each of your faces still get wet, but that's okay because you're probably laughing about how you both totally have soakers anyway.

5. The Vinyl Cafe on CBC radio is pretty good. It took me a while to warm up to the idea of listening to stories on the radio but guess what? There are books too, and the stories are so nice you could read them every day.

6. People falling down. Not old people, and not people that get really hurt, but if someone fell down in front of the saddest guy in the world he would probably crack a smile. Once I fell getting on the shuttle bus and no one laughed except for me and I wondered 'what is wrong with these people?!" Then I realized they were probably saving it for later when they could let their friends in on the joke, and that's fine.

7. This.

Ummm yeah there are lots of good things and quit it with all the hate already. What are you in like grade 10?

11/14/2004

and it was the most prophetic fortune cookie ever. 

you may attend a party where strange customs prevail
vous pourriez assister a une réception aux étranges coutumes.

For real.

Shaheen, a restaurant by Beaubien metro, attracted the likes of Mira and Allie by boasting "unpretentious Indian and Pakistani fare. And a Kleenex box on every table."

When we first arrived, they seemed pissed that our friends didn't show up for 45 minutes because they had to close at 9:30pm. So they kept glaring at me in the mirror, gave us a faulty corkscrew for the wine, and turned off the heat to try and freeze us out. But we stuck it out, more determined than ever to get our $6.50 worth of soup, rice, curry, and dessert.

After Jer endured a striking blow at his ability to handle spice, the conversation quickly turned to politics, and Joffe, assured as ever of his convictions, spurred the conversation forward until it became a fiesty debate.

We were certain we were about to be kicked out when the owner, a big, middle-aged Pakistani immigrant, approached the table.

"Let me just ask you one question," he said, "Are you for or against American presence in Iraq and Afghanistan?"

Cut to thirty minutes later, well past the 9:30pm closing time, the debate raging on as Joffe told us everything he was against, while falling strangely silent when attempting to tell us exactly what it was he was for.

The point is:

The food was good and plentiful.
The debate (and I quote) was "nourishing also."

Go for the food. Stay for the old dude in the apron talking to you.

**** out of *****
$ out of $$$$$
Issue 1. Volume 1. Digitaldownpour Restaurant Critiques.


11/13/2004

ho ho ho? 

Is Santa Claus always this early?
There's only 40 shopping days till Christmas afterall.
What ever shall we do.

11/12/2004

not exactly what we wanted. 

but this is most definitely the last thing you would expect.

11/09/2004

Book of the Week 

So aparently Marshall McLuhan's claim-to-fame catchphrase "the medium is the message" was a typo, just a small communications glitch that drastically altered the meaning of his own important message. Because in fact, what Mr. Media was trying to tell us all along was that the medium is the massage.

Much more profound, don't you think?

Way ahead of his time.








11/07/2004

Delusions of Grandeur 

We are sad to say that one of our fellow blogs has apparently developed a strong case of delusional schizophrenia. A delusion is commonly defined as a false belief and is used in everyday language to describe a belief that is either false, fanciful or derived from deception. This is unfortunately evident in said blog's continued insistence that their blog is better than Digital Downpour, which is obviously a very fanciful notion indeed.

We would like to take this opportunity, however, to remind people that delusions of this scale typically occur in the context of neurological or mental illness. So while it may be tempting to cede to one's first reaction to such grandiose delusion by calling the deluded party mean names like "Crazy nut" or "Unfit-to-blog psycho", it is important to remember that it is not their fault but rather the result of a chemical imbalance inside their brain.



And with that, we wish the blog suffering from this illness peace of mind and hope that they will soon find a medication that best suits their needs.

11/05/2004





11/03/2004

1460 more days 

Four years is a long fucking time. Especially when it's four years filled with constitutional amendments, neo-conservative values and "whatever it takes" mentality.

My favourite though is the ballot proposition that Georgians passed with 76% of the vote which will "Amend the Georgia constitution to recognize that marriage is only the union of a man and a woman" while simultaneously ensuring that "no divorces could be granted by a Georgia judge in the case of same-sex marriages". That's just so clever.

But I'm not feeling too down about it anymore because I just thouroughly enjoyed 106 minutes of my time spent watching






It's over. 

My professor was massively depressed today (his words not mine). There was that whole election business, and also nobody in class finished the McLuhan reading last night, total bummer. Anyway, we were talking about these guys, The Frankfurt School, who believe that the whole system of media are corrupted by economics, and everything we see and trust and believe is just theatre. Then we were talking about Marshall McLuhan (you know, the dude from the Heritage Minute? The medium is the message...whatever). Anyway this McLuhan guy thinks that technologies are extensions of our bodies, like the radio would be an extension of our ears because it lets us hear things we couldn't normally. So McLuhan thinks that technology, outside of economic systems, is what precipitates change in society.And the Frankfurt dudes are all
"Fuuuuuck that Marshall. If you wanna precipitate some change, you gotta have some change first. Meaning money. Ya heard?"
And then McLuhan says
"Whatever dudes, social relationships are reorganized by only 5 things. And those things are Sight, Sound, Touch, Smell and Taste. Put that in your collective pipe and smoke it."
And then the Frankfurt School is all
"Yeah? Well guess what, you don't know WHAT you feel because all you feel is what the muthafuckin' media spectacle tells you to feel, and that's why dialogue doesn't exist anymore, cause people are so caught up in shit that doesn't matter that they don't know what the hell else to talk about!"
Then they all start to bitchslap eachother and it gets pretty juvenile. So anyway, we were talking about all these dudes in class, and this one kid in class started talking about Firefox (which is this geeky alternative web-browser, for non coms-students) and how him and his friends use that instead of Internet Explorer as a form of rebellion. Professor Danisch was apparently not impressed, because then he totally went of the hook about the problem with youth today, and how they need to get off their asses and out into the streets and start a revolution '60s style. But instead they download alternate web browsers and look at political blogs and feel like they're rebelling. And everyone is always talking about the democratic potential of the internet but all that your computer is is a tool of the spectacle; a tool for alienation. Danish said
"You're sitting at your computer thinking -- Here's a revolution! -- but you're sitting ALONE at your computer."
Yeah.
But I think it's going down to like, -3 tonight.

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